You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
