bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
