Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to sanitize my soul.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize