He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
