okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
