i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
