I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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