Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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