Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
