im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
