See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
