He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize