We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
