I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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