Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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