It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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