Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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