I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
