Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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