Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
