forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
