you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
