just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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