You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
