I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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