could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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