Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize