just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
