I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
