I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
