he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
