Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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