it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
