I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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