she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
