she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
