I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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