is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
