this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
