Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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