This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
