So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
