its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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