remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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