every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
