Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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