So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
