Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
