I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
