good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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