it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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