I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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