Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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