tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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