Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
